Don’t call me a good mother
Don’t call me a good mother.
For being good somehow means doing all the “right things”. And to be honest, I’m not necessarily all that concerned about doing the “right things”.
I’m more concerned about doing the brave thing. The thing that is needed to be done even when nobody understands. The thing that might raise a few eyebrows. Or even shock some folks. The thing that is contrary to what is popular or trendy. Contrary to opinions, charts and reports. Contrary to what everyone says is right.
For I am more concerned about the man my child will become one day. Even more than my own concern for being rated good.
For you see, I am not merely raising a child. I am raising a new race of man. A father. A husband. A friend. A team mate. A son. A seeker. A world citizen.
And because of that I cannot adhere to the standard of merely being good. Ticking off a list and patting myself on the back that I’m making my child fit in.
For you see, I do not want to make my child fit in.
Not if fitting in means being self-entitled. Not if fitting in means boasting the latest gadgets and labels. Not if fitting in means filling his hours with an impressive list of activities. Not if fitting in means parroting what everyone else is saying and thinking.
I know that a lot of what I am nurturing in my kid will never earn him big points on his report card. It will never be judged comparable to his skills in mastering multiplication, subtraction or algebra. It won’t perhaps make him popular but then being popular isn’t the goal.
But hopefully, what I strive to teach him will make him kind. And compassionate. And truthful. And brave. Hopefully, he will be the sort of friend who will be as happy for the success of his buddies as if it were his very own success. Hopefully, he will be the sort of person who will be gracious in losing.
Hopefully, he will learn to persevere and not give up, not only for the reward of praise and the pleasure of recognition but for having a spirit of excellence in all things. And that he will one day grasp that victory isn’t always about winning. And that losing isn’t always a loss.
Most of all, I hope he will grow up to be the sort of man who is able to laugh at himself. And embrace the world in his heart.
You may not consider me a “good” mother as I believe in accustoming my child to hardship. And hopefully, he will one day learn that there is as much power and freedom in the word “No” as much as the word “Yes”.
I hope I can teach him to understand that courtesy is not merely about manners. But that courtesy is the prince of virtues. And when he practises courtesy he honours the soul of another human being. And that of his very own soul.
I hope with all my heart, he will learn to never run away when things get difficult. That he would never abandon his values for a mere cupful of pleasure. And that to purposefully hurt or offend another heart is more painful to himself.
I wish that my child will understand that remorse can sometimes be a very good thing. And the superiority that comes from elevating himself over another is to be avoided at all cost.
I truly hope I can teach him that his word will always count for something. And that promises do matter. I hope that the principles of integrity, honour and being noble will always take first place in his life.
Most of all, I want to give him space and plenty of room to grow. And explore. And discover. And he can take as long as he needs to remain a child. For his growing up will not be rushed for my sake or the sake of any establishment or according to the time frame of anyone.
So, teachers, friends and relatives, my child may not fit your standards of what every other child is like or supposed to be. And that’s because I am not raising him to be just like every other child.
I am just trying my best to raise him up to be the best of himself.
So, you see, being a mother is not about me at all. It makes little difference how I am thought of.
I know I am raising my child in ways that might disappoint many. Or not fit the bill of how it should be done. But that’s simply because I am not raising him up to perform. Neither am I raising him to be an extension of myself. I am not grooming him to live up to the expectations of everyone else. He is not a trophy for my cause.
So, I don’t know if I am really any good at this great, big, magnificent calling of motherhood. For I know that I fail big time. In big momentous ways.
But all I am trying to do is to honour the life that came from me. This special, unique child that is mine on trust for a little while until he finds his place in this great big world.
And my whole role in this thing called motherhood is just to be part of the beautiful celebration of my child’s gentle, dreamy, affectionate, imaginative, happy, contented, giving self. Guiding him to himself and the Divine.
So, don’t call me a good mother.
For I am not parenting for points.
To brave, brave mothers everywhere who are listening to their hearts and the hearts of their children. To mothers who parent with dignity and honour the spirits of their children above the crushing pressure to perform.
I dedicate this post to my own dear Mother who taught me to be brave. To always, always be brave.
Happy Mother’s Day with love and gratitude.
Oh, Sharon, this post is so lovely and wise. I wholeheartedly agree with you – motherhood is not simply satisfying the wants of children to give the, temporary happiness but more so about training the children to discipline themselves and nurture that nobility in them. How mothers raise their children foretells the kind of future of the child nd the world.
Dear Imelda, I sat down with a cup of tea after my son had gone to bed last night. I knew he had been trying hard all week to keep himself from blurting out what he had got planned for Mother’s Day with his Dad for me 😀 And as I sat down in the quiet evening thinking of my blessed nine years as a mother, this post wrote itself. This is the content of my heart as a mother. The incredible joys, the sorrows, the hopes and failings all rolled into one and changed our lives forever. Motherhood is incredibly humbling! Thank you for your meaningful comment. It contains so much wisdom in those few lines. Happy Mother’s Day beautiful heart! Hugs, Sharon
Your concept of being a good mother so resonates with mine. It is no surprise I read every blog you post because I know you will say what I want to say in your magical ability to express ideas so beautifully.
I agree. The way she writes is beautiful and so articulate!
Happy Mother’s Day to us! 🙂
Blessings on your fierce, strong, and love-fused mothering, Sharon.
Reblogged this on A Letter to my Children and commented:
I love Sharon’s writing. More than that, I love her spirit that comes through so clearly in her writing. If I am assembling blogs posts about Mother’s Day, how can I fail to re-post this?
Yes, well said. I’m not a mom yet, but I’ve often thought that if I ever become one, this is the way I want to be.
Thank you for your wonderful post. I have re-blogged it on my site, http://alettertomychildren.wordpress.com because I love it and you so much.
Thank you so much for your loving and nurturing message! I am blessed. Thank you for being an inspiration. Hope your Mother’s Day was beautiful from start to finish dear one! Love, Sharon
Such a wonderful post, Sharon! ❤
Beautiful post Sharon. I would say you are a great parent. I love your values and focus on parenting to help your son become his best, guiding and nurturing him along the way. I just read an article about how many great leaders credited their mothers for inspiring them and helping to bring out their best. Bravo!
Dear Brad, our children are mines rich in gems of inestimable value. And only true education alone can cause them to reveal their treasures and enable humanity to benefit and be blessed by them. Thank you so much for your kind encouragement. Give your mom a big hug from me! Sharon
Thanks Sharon. I love your perspectives on parenting, and will give my mom a big hug from you! 🙂
So beautiful. Thank you for sharing and bravely standing to teach our next generation so many important lessons. Our world may not understand but people will notice and appreciate when your son displays these characteristics. We need more of this in our world. Happy early Mother’s Day.
Sharon, I’m so happy to see you are back writing in this place. I missed you so. Happy Mother’s Day, beautiful friend. Hugs, Becky
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If your son turns out half as good as you hope, he will be twice the man of most children being raised today. If you can stick to your goals and raise him as you wish, and not as society or educators or friends and relatives wish him raised, you will be one of the best mom’s in the world. It will take strength on your part, certitude in your beliefs, and joy in yourself to follow your path. Congratulations on your insight, and your little man will turn out to be a fine human being.
Happy Mothers’ Day
Motherhood humbles me. And brings me down to my knees. And keeps me up at nights. It is also at once the most wonder-filled years of my life! I have never known so much love could be contained in my heart. I have also never known such responsibility on my shoulders. Thank you so much Barney for your message of hope. Most of all for your uplifting wishes on Mother’s Day. I hope the lovely Mrs Barney has a special day tomorrow! With grateful appreciation, Sharon
“If your son turns out half as good as you hope, he will be twice the man of most children being raised today.”
I look forward to knowing the man your boy will become. I am happy I am able to read your thoughtful and beautiful words, and have you as a friend x
a beautifully courageous
Your son will thank you and love you for ever for bringing up with these principles. Sometimes I recognise my father in myself and I understand better how hard my parents tried to give me everything I could want in life – not material things as there was no spare money – but the tools that would equip me to deal with the ups and downs of life. Good parenting isn’t written in tablets of stone. Its highly individualistic. Happy Mother’s Day.
Dear Andrew, when I was young I thought I knew it all and scoffed at my parents’ valiant efforts to raise us to be kind and decent people. Then I had a child and I now realise that if I could do half of what they managed to do with us as kids, I’d be mighty happy. Thank you so much for your thoughtful message and the Mother’s Day wishes! I so much appreciate you sharing your insights with me. Many thanks. Sharon
Happy brave mother’s day to you too! ❤
You are blessed with your beautiful son, as is he, to have such a wonderful, caring mother! 🙂
Happy Mother’s Day’ I hope you have a magical time creating many lovely memories to treasure!
Thank you so much Caren! It was an awesome day – beautiful from beginning to end, You bless me with your kindness. Hugs, Sharon
I’m so happy you shared a lovely and very special family day Sharon – though being a mother, everyday is special as we know 😉
I adore this post! To find another soul – actually quite a few, as revealed by the beautiful comments – who strives to parent as my husband and I do is exactly what I needed today. From the bottom of my heart, thank you! As you and your son continue to grow and be nourished by love, the world becomes a much lovelier and lighter place to be. Gratitude for being an agent of hope.
Does it matter that I’m wishing you Happy Mother’s Day one day late? I reckon not Jaymi since I believe in a perfect world it should be Mother’s Day every single day! 😀 I so much cherish the spirit and thoughts of your message. Kindred spirits, agents of hope. I truly, truly love that! Big hug. Sharon
Beautiful thoughts and words expressed. Thank you!
So beautifully expressed, Sharon! I have no doubt you will help your son son grow into an exceptional person, like his mother has.
I would be proud to call such a man my friend. Thank you for being a mother who takes your role and opportunity so seriously while giving your son plenty of time, space, and room to grow, explore, discover, laugh, play, and be a child.
Dear Russ, sorry for taking a while to get back to you. Your message went deep into my heart. For that is my wish that my son would grow up to be a man that one would be proud to call a friend. Your generous spirit and boundless encouragement is good for the soul. With blessings my friend. Sharon
A beautiful post Dear Sharon…Happy Mother’s day…:-)
Happy Mother’s Day, Dear Brave Mother! 🙂
I am so fortunate to have a wonderful biological mother. But to have other mother figures in my life is simply a blessing beyond compare! You are such a person in my life dearest Fae. Your strength, wisdom and love permeate my being and guide me to do brave things. Happy Mother’s Day with love. Sharon
I love you! xx
Such amazing writer you are, it’s amazing how you expressed all of your feelings and thoughts into such beautiful words. Lucky your son is to have you as a mother. Happy Mother’s Day to you.
I’m the incredibly lucky one! Thank you so much for the beautiful wishes Cornelia. I just noticed that you have travelled to Sri Lanka among many other distant lands. Sri Lanka, the teardrop of India is second home to my husband who spent a year there after his highschool. It has a special place in our hearts and we long to return there again. I send you my warmest wishes for a beautiful day. Sharon
so many things that only mothers know, shared and done but not quite understood ;D
Hugs Marlyn. From one mother to another! Sharon
Reblogged this on USAmoney's Blog.
This is a very humbling post, I might give it to my mum for a read! Your son is very lucky x
Hello Demi, thank you for visiting and for your sweet message. Send my warmest greetings to your mum! 🙂 Sharon
Amazingly expressed. After reading it you inspired me how can role of a mother can change a child’s life. Beautiful
Dear Saloni, so good to hear from you and a warm welcome to the blog. I’m touched to know that this post inspired you. I am in awe every time I think of the role of mothers and how we can make this world a better place by the way we raise our children. Thank you for reading. Sharon
I always believe that motherhood always shape our future. I always want to be perfect mother as that day would be the most beautiful day for a girl. Your blog really touched my heart.
A beautiful and personal tribute to motherhood from your perspective. It is so often the case in this world when our children try to live up to another’s expectations because they are so influenced into thinking it is right for them as well. And yet, everyone is unique and different and as his mother you will be able to better direct him into choosing to do what is right for him. As a mother of two grown girls and a grandmother of four I know the influence out there in this world is so strong, and often leads them astray. Thank you for sharing your story. Your child is blessed.
Dear Joyce, your wise and gentle thoughts resonate with me. And your kind comment a gift. What a wonderful place in life to be to have nurtured your children into adulthood and now have the joy of being a grandmother of four! What a blessed legacy. Thank you so much for coming over. I look forward to getting to know you. Many hugs! Sharon
Thank you Sharon for the kind comments and for visiting my blog too. It is a pleasure to meet you and connect this way with those things we share in common, like motherhood. Yes, being a mother and a grandmother is a wonderful experience. We are a close family. I pray that you too, will be blessed.
Reblogged this on naturalnarayan and commented:
Mother is god
Great thought from a large heart!
Yo you are a cool mother. Perfection is just a thing of prospective. There is actually noticing like it.
The main thing to focus to always keep optimizing. Always finding new ways to better do a thing.
Job of a mother is most important job in the world. How you do it, you can only deside best. Not someone else.
All d best for this difficult yet exciting and happiness giving job
You always write so eloquently that one can learn from it. I am glad that you are raising a seeker. No one can judge you for how you raise your child and I commend your spirit for bringing one into this world full of strife. For what is good may not be good for others. Blessings to you and your love owns.
this is amazing, it sounds to me that you try to do the best for your kids and that is a good mother
I am so fortunate to have the wonderful pleasure of knowing you!! Reading your thoughts and values make me so proud to know a young person as special and brave as you! Thank you for coming over. I wish you an amazing life lived in fullness, courage and beauty. You blessed my heart today. Your mom and dad must be so proud of you. I know I would! Hugs, Sharon
Thank you so much for all your comments, I read them a couple times!
Well said 😉
A truly beautiful post that clearly comes from the heart. Our children are all unique individuals and motherhood comes with no manuals.
This did my heart good to read this. The world needs more people like you, you are wise and do not let other people interfere with your own morals. I won’t call you a good mother. I’ll call you an astonishing human being with high intellect whom is raising a wonderful child that will know his whereabouts in this world.
Dear one, it did my heart good to receive this message from you. Thank you for taking the time to read and sharing your thoughts here. Hugs and blessings. Sharon
Sharon so nice to see you back here and I agree with you its not a competition about being a good mum. If my child grows up with compassion and kindness to others, if he can understand its okay to be different and walk his own path. If he can show respect for himself, life, nature and humanity I will be blessed. Most of all because he is different, teaching him to laugh at himself and this crazy life we live…. is paramount to living a happy life. If I can teach him these things through the ups and downs of childhood to adulthood my work is done but its never over. Kath.
This made my heart so happy. I totally get this- I am raising my son to be himself at all costs- and to be authentic and find his own voice. I cannot be prouder of the young man he is becoming. Thanks so much for writing this.
Your story on motherhood moved me. Your life, your authenticity and courage is a gift to your son. I am just blown away when I meet moms like you. Thank you so much for coming over and leaving me this message. For I too am simply trying my best to be brave and to let my child be the best of himself that he can be. With much love. Sharon
(Blushing) thanks so much.
Reblogged this on MoonBeam Walker Blog.
Beautiful. I particularly like the part “A new type of man”. Glad you recognized fitting in is no longer enough.
Reblogged this on chanamaro and commented:
“You may not consider me a “good” mother as I believe in accustoming my child to hardship…” – original author
great word. have a great mother’s day!
Such a beautiful and heartfelt post. Your son is very fortunate, indeed,
Perfect – such timely serendipity that I read this today on the eve of the day that my little baby boy is judged by the state on his intellectual abilities (SATs exams in the UK) and how I hope I have taught him well enough to recognise what is important for him and what is less important for him to get hung up on. Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers celebrating the wonder of being a mother – and having a mother – today 🙂
Dear Sarah, I’m sending this to you with lots of blessings and may your baby boy shine at his SATs! I know you would be so absolutely proud of him if he had done his utmost best. The results that follow is only an added bonus. Oh, motherhood can be so full of nail-biting moments too. Your heart is so full of love for your son, I can feel it all the way here. Hope your Mother’s Day was beautiful from beginning to end! Hugs, Sharon
What a lovely post. Sweet and heartfelt. However we go about it, most mums (and dads) want their children to be the best they can be. Then we cross our fingers and hang around for a couple of decades to see if we were right. That’s the hard part. In the end of course parenting is moe about show than tell. My child said that as soon as I stopped smoking, he would. I did and so did he. I’ve never smacked my children, they have never smacked theirs. The best way to raise children is to provide them with a role model to follow – you. 🙂
Dear Mary! You are exactly right that parenting is more about show than tell. Our actions speak louder than all the words in the world. And with every hope and wish that I have for my child, it simply means I have to walk the walk. That’s the tough bit isn’t it. Thank you so much for coming over and leaving me this great message. I will certainly be holding on to the wisdom of your words for a very long time to come. Hugs, Sharon
I am not a mother yet but I have always loved children and I cant wait to have my own family one day. I just want to say, thank you for sharing what it means to be a mother. I grew up without having my mom by my side and becoming mother one day is my dream and I do want to teach my children to be kind, compassionate, be truthful and be brave.
I hope you have a wonderful mothers day with your family!
Happy mothers day!
Dear Avalee, what a beautiful goal to have. I hope you nurture this dream of yours. Children are life’s most wonderful gifts to us. Thank you so much for your precious message. I wish you sweet blessings and beautiful, brave children! Hugs, Sharon
Reblogged this on stevedevito2015.
Reblogged this on soulsuccor.
Hai mother what a blog. My belated happy mothers day to you and all.happy days ahead.
Reblogged this on sophiesticatedx.
Would love to meet him at 21 and don’t think I will be disappointed.
Reblogged this on Tana Daily Telegraph and commented:
‘You may not consider me a “good” mother as I believe in accustoming my child to hardship…” – original author
Bellusly written.. I think jus great! ☺☺ hats off
Touched. Just wish to tell you that your son is so lucky to have someone like you. If I knew you personally, I would probably save a copy of this post and show it to him when he was older. 🙂
So wonderful to meet you Abhimanyu! Thanks for the tip. I shall save a copy for my son to read 😀 Thank you so much for coming over and for leaving me this lovely note. Sharon
Reblogged this on kanavsood11 and commented:
Honesty is the best policy and i appreciate it
Reblogged this on latestupdates4every1.
This was absolutely beautiful. I am moved.
Dear Raffy the reading Elf, I’m following you and your writing endeavours. Keep that pen of yours scribbling. Hugs, Sharon x
Thank you, Sharon! I most certainly will! 😊
Wow!!! Amazing post!!!!! 🙂
Happy mother day
Reblogged this on saychiichay.
I feel like cheering after reading your post. I hope your blog helps to keep the fire inside of you alight. Be brave. Love from another mum trying to be brave x
We are all trying to be brave!! So much love to you as you do brave and wonderful things with your children. Love back, Sharon x
We can never have enough of mothers like you….
Happy Mother’s Day to you
Wow!!!! Hands clapping! Respect!
Reblogged this on Mindfire Cantata.
Great Mother gifted-with-one-heart to love!
Reblogged this on sunesiss.
Reblogged this on ARABOGLU55 A.Ş.
We get so caught up in what the world around us is saying that we forget to listen to the child…, the single most important thing! Your post reminded me of that… It hit home and hit home hard!
such a great post
Such a beautiful post.. Thank you for sharing :’)
As a soon-to-be-mommy, this meant a lot to me. So very wise. I’m sharing this – absolutely amazing words.
Oh what wonderful news Nicole Marie! Congratulations! To beautiful, sweet moments and to all the glorious adventures ahead! With love, Sharon
Reblogged this on and commented:
“And when he practices courtesy he honours the soul of another human being. And that of his very own soul.” Absolutely amazing post – please give it a read.
Reblogged this on الأكيب.
Hence why I home school my three children… “Because everything I do ought to have a kingdom purpose.”
Reblogged this on Siddharth Malkania Photography Blog.
I love this so much Yeng! You articulate so beautifully everything I want for the next generation and everything I want to be as a person. Thank you ❤
My dearest Ning, I truly miss you and wish that we had spent more time during our growing up years. But it’s never too late. We shall make up for lost time the next time we meet. Hopefully over bowls of kiam chai buey, plates of char koay teow and other best in the world situations!! To kindred spirits. Love you too cuz. Yeng
Reblogged this on who cares…..
May you have a successful journey with your child and may he be what you wish him to be.
I loved when you said “And he can take as long as he needs to remain a child” for we always seem to rush our children for no reason.
Great post 🙂
So lovely to hear from you all the way in Bahrain! Thank you for your warm wishes. To many precious, unhurried moments with your little one. Sharon
This is lovely – and right on point.
Reblogged this on omaramal.
“You may not consider me a “good” mother as I believe in accustoming my child to hardship. And hopefully, he will one day learn that there is as much power and freedom in the word “No” as much as the word “Yes”.”
All I can say is a hearty “Amen” to this, Sharon.
If I ever get a chance to mother children this side of Heaven, these words will serve as a blessed reminder of who I hope to raise them to be.
Dear Dani, you have a beautiful heart and I pray that your heart’s desire will be fulfilled one day. Because I can just tell already that you will make a kind, gentle, wise and loving mom. I loved reading your About on Gravatar. If you could be so kind as to leave me your blog site, I would love to visit. Thank you so much for coming over and leaving me this note. I truly feel your heart and love all the way here. Much love and blessings. Sharon xx
Oh, Sharon, I’m so touched by your response. Thank you kindly for wanting to stop by my site; you can do so at: http://www.bloomingspiders.com.
What a blessing to “meet” you, dear one. Truly.
Under the same sky,
Hugs dear one.
Reblogged this on elevenlindbergs and commented:
I love this. I admire this woman’s example.
Wow. This was so touching and beautiful. Thank you for helping me see the bravery in my own mother.
Your mother is an inspiration Autumn. Love and greetings to your wonderful mom! And thank you for coming by and leaving me this note! Sharon x
Reblogged this on stary711 and commented:
For all the Mother’s that were brave enough to say No. One of the hardest things in my life.
We can dream but most of all, we can encourage our children to dream. I will challenge greatness in my child. She will say what’s on her mind and in her heart. She will never be asked by me to spare feeling when she understands logic. She will conform to widsom while educating ignorance. I have expectations for my child, it’s for her to change her generation. For her to be the world she wishes to live in. I expect her to give everything she has by being anything she wants. I, like you, want to be a great parent because good isn’t good enough because our children need a better society. And perserving their purity will grant us that society and their happiness.
I feel your father’s heart in these words! Thank you so much for sharing. Blessings. Sharon
You have a blessed day also
It’s very nice
Reblogged this on Welcome To Sabigurl's Blog.
Valuable insights and a new follower of your blog! I have much the same thoughts about being labelled a good mother and I would so love you to take advantage of what motherhood has meant to me…having had a brave mother too but not a conventional one!! if you are interested , my book is on promotion for Mothers Day still today for free down load. Here’s there link
This is really worth a million bucks…
Really Nice blog….Loved reading your thoughts…
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Reblogged this on life according to mommy and commented:
I read this post today whilst feeding Annie (my 6month old) boiled carrots for dinner and although it is not Mother’s Day here in Britain (that was in March) I thought I would reblog it as it speaks of being true to your parenting and to yourself as a parent.
I hear so many parents turn round to others and say ‘you should do this…’ or ‘you shouldn’t do that…’ ‘guidelines say you should..’ And we get so tied up in what professionals say our children should be doing at a specific age or in the latest trend that we force them to grow up before they may be ready.
So this post is a kind reminder to you all and to myself that we should raise our children according to what we think and what is right for them, not what everybody else wants your child to be.
Thank you to the original poster as well
Bye for now
Your post resonates with everything that people see as being wrong. Making us believe our children should do certain things by certain ages and act/look/be a certain way and your post reminds people that it is ok if they are not. After if we were all alike, where would be the fun in that!
I hope you don’t mind but I have reblogged it and added some of my own thoughts.
Thank you so much Lyndsey for the reblog and for your great thoughts. I sometimes have to stop and remind myself that motherhood is not a race. It’s not a competition. It’s about providing the best environment for my child to flourish and thrive and be the best that he can be. I wish you beautiful moments with your little one. Enjoy and bring out the treasures and gems that she is. Hugs from one mom to another. Sharon
Its so true.. Perfect words.. Just Wow!! Have no words….
I read this to my mother, nad she kept nodding.
So, I hope that is a good sign.
I hope that is a good sign too! 😀 My loving and warm regards to your mother! How very sweet of you to read this to your mom. I am honoured. Hugs, Sharon
My mother always god
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! Way to go! Excellent post! “Raising a new race of man.” Yes! Bravo!
Dear Lu, I’m still pinching myself! 😀 Thank you so much for coming over. Please keep coming over. I always love to hear from you! Hugs, Sharon
I think you are an amazing person. Your son will thrive in his life with help from you. I wish I had a mom like you. You go, girl!!
Thank you Fifteen and blogging! Fifteen is a very special age. And I am so glad to hear from you. You go, my girl!! Go far, go high. I send you blessings. Sharon xo
Wow! Such beautiful, smart and brave insights. I love your fresh and real perspective shared so eloquently. You are wise! I am also raising (my) kids this way – I don’t think of them as mine and I am just a steward, guiding and helping to manage their boundaries as they grow and discover their individual gifts and talents and joys. I love observing their path and sharing the journey together. 🙂
Reblogged this on Here I Am and commented:
Oh I love her perspective!! Perfectly imperfect…being brave and not fitting in and not being possessive of our kids. Love love love this.
It is good to read that there are mothers who think like me. I feel that a child should have his/her own ways. I have a daughter who loves painting and craft, I just let her do it. thats the way she will find herself one day… I would be waiting for her then…
Hii sharon i’m a new user of worldpress,your post is touching my heart although i can’t feel to be a father yet because i’m a student of senior high school but your post has showed me that the true parent is the mother like you. your are kind mom for your son .i hope your son growing well and being a good boy..
Thank you so much Ariuvaca! It gives me so much joy to know that this post touched your young heart. I wish you a bright and successful future and one day the beautiful joy of becoming a father. Thank you for your very kind wishes. I am touched. Blessings. Sharon
This is a great post. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I feel like a lot of your writing would qualify.
Thank you Amy!! And big congratulations on your very own Freshly Pressed!! ❤ Truly stunning and well deserving. Sharon
Very well written and thank you for the reminder. Easy to forget what the real goal of parenthood is and get wrapped up in expectations. Thank you!
This is exceptionally touching.
I really admire what you have written. I think it takes a strong person to stand against the status quo and an even stronger person to raise their child to stand against it. It encourages me to stay strong and raise my children with the things that are important to our family, even if that isn’t the norm.
Stay strong. Stay brave. Laugh much and love every minute of it! Thank you so much for coming over and leaving me this note. Blessings and hugs from one mom to another! xo Sharon
Great post! Thank you for sharing this with all the mothers out there reading this. I think your concept is great!
You wrote exactly what has been on my mind for a long time now. I want to raise my child the same way you do – it’s good to see that I’m not the only one thinking like this.
I loved this post, and I’m looking forward for more.
I hope you’ll have a nice day!
Thank you Sophie and so good to be connected to you. I love what you are doing at your blog. Most of all, I love that you are stopping to think and to question and to create a better world. I wish you beautiful blessings! Have a great day! Hugs, Sharon
Reblogged this on kandaceemerald and commented:
This is perfect. This made me feel much better about disappointing my in laws and parents in my own mothering. I feel exactly the same way as this post.
Nicely said! I feel every day is mother’s day….we should always be kind and respectful to our family members: kids, fathers, mothers, grandparents etc. To pick one day seems…limiting a beautiful and important gift.
Reblogged this on emvict and commented:
At times it takes a brave soul to bring the best out of our kids. Kudos to all mothers out there
Exceptionally touching article that I whole heartedly agree with. Motherhood isn’t defined by what society says, not even by what our family and friends say, but by what we know is right and is the best for the children. Love this article!
Hi Carmi, so good to hear from you! Thank you for writing. I can’t access your blog. Please check that your name link is properly set up or leave me a link here. Have a wonderful day! Sharon
Your welcome Sharon!
I’m new to WordPress so I am having a hard time linking my site and setting it up. In fact, I didn’t even know I had this problem until you mentioned it to me! So thank you very much. Until I can figure out how to solve these issues, here is the the link to my blog http://purplerose18.wordpress.com/
Reblogged this on prettywhiterose and commented:
She has an excellent point on parenting, a good read most definitely.
Reblogged this on Willow by the stream and commented:
I love what this mother says.. So many times I have wanted to be that “good mother” when I should be the “brave mother”.. 🙂
Thank you so much Corrine. We are all trying to be brave moms in so many ways. I know you are. Sharon x
I just love reading your post. Coincidently I’ve wrote a script about mollycoddle or educate. I hope that my pupils could wake the parents who raise their children in a pamper way and turn their children into “big babies” in the future. I am sad and worried to read news about primary or secondary students committed suicides. This has to be fixed. Yes. The parents should teach their children to be brave and confident in facing any challenges. Not to make them become vulnerable and ill-prepared for the messiness of life.
Thank you so much for your valuable thoughts and feedback! I can see that your students are an important part of your life. They are so fortunate to have a teacher like you – who care more about the sort of persons they will grow up to be rather than just the grades they are achieving. I wish and your students success in ways that truly count. The world needs more teachers like you. Blessings! Sharon xx
Another wonderful post, Sharon! Your son is lucky to have you, and I’m sure he’ll grow up to be the best of himself. I look at my son now, all grown up, a wonderful man, son, husband and father, and I’m grateful. Here he is despite my many failings as his mother. Motherhood is, indeed, humbling.
Oh how full your heart must be dear Tiny when you look at your son! Failings is part of motherhood. It is from our very humanness and our imperfect love that we try to leave something beautiful and meaningful in the lives of our children. And hopefully, we leave behind sunshine and stars and a hope for a better tomorrow in their hearts as well. Hugs, Sharon
A beautifully written post as usual – you do have a way with words! I especially liked your thoughts about courtesy, which seems to me something completely fundamental, but which is now often overlooked.
This is the epitome of motherhood and I love it! I may never biologically be a mother, but if I were, this is absolutely the best model/guide/stategy ever written. This is exactly what I strive to instill and encourage in my college students. Yes, college students. It’s so evident that many of them always won and have no clue what to do with a loss. I am so inspired to know that there are other mothers walking a different path. Thank you so very much for sharing!
Dear Erica, so good to hear from you! I am inspired by what you do with your college students. Your dedication and love for them is inspiring. We are mothers to many even if they didn’t come from us. For being a mother is also a matter of the heart and spirit. Your students are so fortunate to have someone like you guiding them. Thank you so much for taking the time to come over and writing me this wonderful message. I wish you and your students beautiful success! Blessings. Sharon
Reblogged this on marilynazoramador.
Great post !
Very wise words, what is considered “good mothering” sometimes just doesn’t work for what is at hand. I have to take a lot of deep breathes and remember that I always need to give it my best, my best is not always “good” or perfect, but it is my best 🙂
Dear Luke’s Momma, and that about sums it up. Hugs and deep breaths. We all need lots of that 😀 Lovely to hear from you. Sharon
I can’t say it’s good without replying. This is good. I’d like your message and things. Keep up the good work!! Look at my blogs, sometimes.
Very well said. I’m raising two boys and wish the same for them.
Thank you for this amazing post!! It’s so true…my son is almost 13 and it’s hard to keep him from following what others want him to be but I do. I my best in hopes that he will understand why I say and do the things I do. From one mom to another thank you!!
So lovely to hear from you Geekkat! To raise our children to stop for a moment and think for themselves is perhaps one of the most important things in life. I find that I still need to practice that every single day of my life 😀 Thank you for reaching out to me. And many hugs from one mom to another!! Sharon x
Reblogged this on Pearlie and commented:
The post gave me strength for the very long lonely road ahead. 🙂
Wow! That was beautiful! Your son is blessed to have you for a Mom, I really wish this was the attitude of more mothers in this crazy mixed-up world of ours! God Bless You, and your family!
Dear Becky, I apologise for this late reply. But I just wanted you to know that I felt your heartfelt wishes and the warmth in your message. I am touched. Thank you quiet person in a loud world for bringing blessings to my world! Hugs, Sharon
Reblogged this on Blessings through raindrops… and commented:
This article is so good!
I know I certainly didn’t do all the “right things” raising my two kids, but today, I have two beautiful adult children that I am quite proud of. I would like to think that they actually learned a few life lessons from me along the way, and hopefully it wasn’t all bad, but I’m not so sure about that.
Being a Mom is a very hard job, and I hope that these words will bring encouragement to “good Moms” everywhere! 🙂
Reblogged this on Uchechioma blog.
This is perfect. I was thinking today how much easier it is on us (parents) to console our children than to encourage them to try again or shake off the pain or, even, just to keep going. Our hearts want to make life easy and pleasant for our kids, but (I believe) that it is the kids who will pay in the long run because they will have lost opportunities to learn valuable character lessons.
I so hear you on this Mel. Oh, this wonderful thing called parenting sure isn’t for the faint of heart! 😀 Thank you so much for taking the time to add your message here. Blessings and wisdom, lots of love and plenty of laughs for the road. Hugs, Sharon
Dear Sharon, your concepts and perceptions reflects a strong woman and amother in you…and your ability to express themin such a fluidity that it makes the readers to ponder over..
A truly beautiful post. Many parent’s concentrate on the legacy of material things they leave behind. Car, house, cash. But in 100 years when my great, great, great, great, grandkids have no idea who I am, I want them to have the legacy of strength of character, heart, and all the things you have spoken about, and ask “I wonder where we got these traits from?” That’s the legacy I’m working on with my two boys that I hope to leave behind. Thanks for a great post.
And what a truly great legacy to leave behind Aunty Cath! Oh, you blessed me with your thoughts. And the very fact that you are thinking of all those great, great, great grandkids down the line, I am sure you are planting seeds that will last beyond a lifetime. Thank you so much for taking the time to come over and leave me this wonderful message! I wish you and your boys beautiful blessings. Sharon x
Reblogged this on a journalist's podium and commented:
I love this.✌️
I really loved the entire message in the post and I some where see myself talking the same things and seeing that look in others eyes. I often feel that it might not be good for them but I know I am doing the right thing.
I am so inspired by this blog and I am planning to write a similar letter for my kids who are very small to understand it but I know one day they will appreciate it.
Thanks again for writing it and sharing it. its beautiful and inspiring.
Reblogged this on tiffaniehaidar25 and commented:
Excellent and well written love it! What every mother should read and preach!
In a world where everything is close to instant and people are so much more inclined to drop everything and move on when a little trouble brews, we definently need our kids to ‘see the power in “no.”‘ I absolutely love your take on parenting. It’s easy to become desensitized by the “children are the future” phrase and get lost in what the majority values rather than taking the time to contemplate and implement our own values relative to the future. My son has autism and being only 22 I struggle to teach him identity when I’m still finding it myself. I’ve simply taken it step by step and used my faith in Jesus to guide him the way my mother guided me. The perspective you post, however, sheds new light on what I can do to make my son a strong next generation contributor. Thanks so much for sharing!
Dear Jasmine, I am so inspired reading your message above! Most of all in knowing that you are raising your son to be a strong next generation contributor. What a great identity to build in all children to see themselves as givers, not only takers. Heroes. Agents of kindness and change. Big hug to a big heart. Sharon
We may not tell our mothers often how much we love them, but we know we can imagine our life without them. This was one of the most beautiful posts on mother’s day. I am not a mother yet, in fact not even married , but I hope to be like my mom one day. Which is quite difficult. Your post inspires me to be one.
I love this! IAnd thank you for writing this! Parenting is a tough job and the when you go against what the majority values, it really makes you wonder if you are doing the right thing. I’ve been struggling with this lately and questioning myself. But this just gave them the reassurance I needed. Thank you again! 🙂
Dear Humblelittlehomestead, thank you so much for writing! We all struggle and question ourselves and how good that we mothers can come alongside each other and walk this journey together, learning from each other. I wish you plentiful of blessings and keep in touch. Sharon x p.s. I’m not able to access your blog from your name link. Please send me your website and I’ll be sure to come visit you at your little homestead!
Thank you, it’s nice to be able to find others with similar struggles to learn from.
My website is http://www.humblelittlehomestead.com, I wonder why it’s not working? Thanks for asking!
Reblogged this on Slapdash and commented:
For future mothers and mothers out there. Say no to being a conformist. For every great lessons in life is served in hardships, pain and love. I thank my mother for showing me different kinds of love, for when I was hungry for the nurture of her arms she gave me tough love. For when I was thirsty for support she quenched it by making me lean on my own shoulders. For when I was bleeding from social tortures she mend it not by putting band aids on my soul but by helping me to grow up.
If you’re going to ask my 17 year old self about how I felt back then, I’m pretty sure he’s going to say, “I’m not exactly sure of myself if I want that”, “I’m not exactly sure of myself if I really need it.” “Because I want to feel what other child feels when they’re with their family.”
Unknowingly, I was raised to become a fighter, when growing up all I want is to conform, to be like everyone else. But if you’re going to ask me NOW how I feel, here’s what I’m going to say. “I still didn’t want it, but I needed it.” “I am thankful for the continuous tears, heartaches and jealousy that kept on running through my veins, for if I did not experience strong cultivating I might be still a seedling now, or worse might not even sprout. I am thankful to my mother’s incomparable tough love. For he did not brought a child many people love, but she brought a child that many people cannot be.”
Thank you Mom! I Love You!
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After a bit hesitation I decided to open up my problem to you with the hope to get some help. I have started blogging from yesterday only. Being a novice I am not completely aware of the tricks or the process of creating an eye catching page or to draw the attention of the other bloggers. I am not much linked up in social sites and have only accounts in Facebook ang Google. It is an earnest request to u if u kindly take pain to go through my page and blog once and throw some lights into the darkness of my ignorance,it would be a great help for me.There is none in my surroundings to help me in this regard..All your suggestions and opinions will carry a great value to me.
I absolutely loved this and can relate. Great work!
Reblogged this on Living, Learning and Letting Go and commented:
I just finished reading this incredible post. I love and respect the parenting values the blogger holds dear and believe she is an amazing role model. I think there is wisdom here for anyone who has contact with children……and also for those of you who are learning to “parent” your “inner” child(ren)
I love this. By ‘social expectations’ I am a terrible mother. By my and my children’s I am an excellent mother. They are excellent people. X
Reblogged this on Radiating Blossom ~ Flowers & Words and commented:
Missed seeing this post earlier…but such beautiful words to share. “To brave, brave mothers everywhere who are listening to their hearts and the hearts of their children. To mothers who parent with dignity and honour the spirits of their children above the crushing pressure to perform.”
I have missed you!! Thank you for coming over and for the reblog. Blessings to you and your children and grandchildren too!! Your love for your family has made a lasting imprint on me. Hugs and love, Sharon
Reblogged this on Happily Curious.
A great post. I cant tell you how many times I gave myself an “f” for the day and yet my son was the child who liked people who looked like old gnarled trees. He is one of a kind man who thinks with his mind – it took making mistakes to get to that point.
Enjoy being a mom
What preciousness in a child who liked people who looked like old gnarled trees. And the mother who valued that in her child and nurtured that seed into a flourishing tree. To think with his own mind is one of life’s very rare traits. That to me is success. I can’t tell you just how much your message reached out to me this rainy morning here in Helsinki. Sending you hugs and many thanks. Sharon x
Yes! I love your thoughts especially… Mothering is not about me… Courtesy is honoring the soul of another. Love this! Thank you!
Reblogged this on just breathe… and commented:
Thank you for such an inspiring post which I believe is very true. As a mother of a son I completely agree with your views. I hope you don’t mind me reposting this. Thank you.
Hugs from one mom to another!! Sharon x
Thank you Wendell my old friend! Blessings to you and your family. Sharon
You are a good mother
This is very much me!!! I have two lovely babies and people around me try to show me that I am not doing enough especially my relatives…. They are mostly worried about how my babies look. And I always have to say that it’s not beauty or intelligence that matters but what matters is to be know how to love, to care, to be honest and to always stand by truth… That’s the way I want my kids to be! I just loved the way you put it. Right out of your heart!! I can’t resist reblogging this on discoveringmeandlife
Reblogged this on discoveringmeandlife.
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Reblogged this on singlemommyslife and commented:
I love that this shows how mom’s can truly feel, me in particular. I know that I don’t always do the right thing as a single mom but I do make sure that I do what I believe to be best for my girls. Some may say that it’s the brave thing to do and at times, being brave may be all we’ve got left to do.
Reblogged this on aplushymuse by garima singh jadaun and commented:
Congratulations for all the wise efforts you are and have been putting up to raise your child.Efforts that makes a woman a true family leader.I guess 50 percent of your efforts in nurturing your child pays off when he sees such a. parents leave a significant legacy of continued evolution behind.Rest his act of listening to his inner voices will look after.ALL THE BEST
Congratulations on your wise efforts in raising your son .Well 50 percent of your efforts get paid off wen a child is nurtured under a parent capable of leaving a significant legacy of continuous evolution behind for a child learns what he sees.Rest his act of listening the inside voice of his heart will look after.ALL THE BEST
Love it, happy Mother’s Day
What should I say about it… Yeah I m not a father coz m not married yet but when I come to a word “mother” somehow I know it very well coz my mother still make me feel alive. I think you r raising a child and its enough but you should be aware of what’s happening in your child’s life until he/she be able to be independent.
Also I salute to your title coz it needs guts to find wrong in yourself.
Best wishes for your child.
Reblogged this on sfi15480796 and commented:
Yes it takes a Google mother to be brave not to dance to the world music thank you it is very impressive God bless you and big thank you to mothers who did the brave things.
Reblogged this on healthy bodies happy life and commented:
My brave brave boys who constantly cope with me
I love you both forever
Reblogged this on Purple_1201s Blog and commented:
I think im talking to myself here…
You’re so right – we don’t need “good” — we need “real” mothers – brave, insightful, loving, devoted, with an eye to the future and a heart overflowing with love. I know how very proud you must be of your little boy, and I know he will grow up brave. Just like you.
No need to listen to others with their standards and measures and confinements of spirit, who have ideas of how you “should” behave, “should” raise your son. They don’t know YOU.
Many blessings, as always. Jeanne
You are a gift to us all. Well said, and simply beautiful. I’m going to go hug my two “children” who are home visiting from college.
To everyone, parenting is different, differnt times, different moments, different personal experiences. There are parents who have the opportunity to give their children long olympic pools and others who push their children into limosines for junior high school proms, and yet still others who raise their children in grass huts with muddy, dirty floors. In every country, in all parts ofthe world, to be a “good” mother means something so different than it might mean to you or to me or to most other mothers. Your entry is interesting, very thoughtful. Personally, I have not raised my child up to be anything or anybody, but to me, what I paid attention to was that my children were fed, and warm and sheltered and safe during the ages at which this is important in life. And as they grew, my hopes and prayers for them were that they find a life that they are happy with, no matter where, no matter how, but as long as this life is “their” life, something that they choose for themselves. And most important, to me, in the “raising” of any child or grandchild, would be that they remember, and know that I will and would and do always love them, more than anyone in this world, my love is strong. During there lives, if there is any way that I can be of help, whether that way be a prayer, a thought, a conversation, or a place to talk or a place to be quiet, or a place to share or a place to live, that my place as their mom, will always be their mom, yes, a “good” mom. They can call me a good mom anytime they like. Now, make no mistake, there’s a difference between a perfect mom and a good mom. I’ll never make the perfect grade, not by a long shot, but the good mom, yes, if I ever did anything in my life, I would hope that anyone who knows me, sees me as a “good” mom. To me, that’s a prize that beats all the rest of them. I guess, how people judge moms or how they call moms, all depends on where you come from, on what you have experienced and what you have seen during your own lifetime. Nice entry. Interesting. Kudos to you, and yes, too, kudos to all the good moms of this world! Peace.
Wonderful piece! Spare a thought for fathers, too. I want for my son to have strong values, be curious and creative and use these 3 pillars to live a happy life that contributes to the well-being of others. He may choose a different road, and that is also okay with me. I value experiences and development at his own pace over schooling, testing and categorizing. He is 2 so we have a long road that will be paved with love.
Hi David! I can honestly say that my son would be half the person that he is if it wasn’t for his dad. Thank you so much for coming over and for your very great comment. I wish you a beautiful journey as a father. I cannot emphasise enough how important the work of a father is in the life of his child. Wishing you and your family wonderful days ahead filled with love. Warmest wishes, Sharon
Reblogged this on Savannah's Product Review.
This is really beautiful. I commented to my mom one day that I was trying to raise good people, and she told me that was much better than trying to raise good kids.
You have a blog that is really worth following….Your photography and articles are worth admiring and reading.
I really am so touched by your kind message. Sending you blessings in NY from Helsinki. Sharon
I just admire your humility in spite of your enormous talent.
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Beautiful post. As a single mother of a three year old and a four year old this was a pleasure to read. Wise words indeed.
beautiful post. Thank u for it xx god bless
Reblogged this on idreamofindieblog and commented:
This is absolutly beautiful. Definitely worth the read.
My dear Sharon, I just subscribed to your beautiful and powerful blog. Just read this post and it touches me deeply. I do not have children I gave birth to, yet feel like a mother with my nephew, 4 nieces and my partner’s kids. Your message speaks to me deeply and is in resonance to what I hope to share with the children in my life. After all, as the African saying goes, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ and I feel responsible and privileged to know my life can impact a child’s understanding of the world. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world. Sending all my love to you.
I feel loved by your presence here Cristina. And your thoughts on nurturing and motherhood warm my heart. I really do believe that if a person loves children, this love is for all children, not just one’s own. May we all indeed be mothers to many. Love, Sharon
I won’t call you a good mother, only because you asked me not to. I will instead call you a brave mother with a good soul!
Thank you for writing this. I don’t have all the right mom answers myself, but I believe you are spot on! If we want our children to be brave, we must be brave ourselves.
Well done! (That trophy is for your wonderful article, that’s it!)
Thank you so much Kris! I feel your support and kindness reaching out to me across the miles. That really means a lot to me. I so fully agree with you that our lives are the greatest, single, biggest influence on our children. More than all the words in the world. I have found motherhood to be the single most greatest test on my own integrity above all else. So much blessings and a big hug your way! Sharon
I absolutely love this. As mum to a beautiful 7 year old, innocent and precious, the thought of her growing up terrifies me! I just hope her values are instilled enough for it to make a difference. This post is inspiring, thanks! X
Absolutely beautiful. May our children be warriors for truth, love and humanity. Which often isn’t taught by fitting in.
You are brave. 🙂
I love this! Thanks for sharing these important points.
I love the part ” You may not consider me a “good” mother as I believe in accustoming my child to hardship. And hopefully, he will one day learn that there is as much power and freedom in the word “No” as much as the word “Yes”.” This is a virtue lacking in so many of our children (and ourselves). Beautifully said. Thank you for sharing!
Reblogged this on Falling for a Mind.
You speak from my heart.
I loved every idea you expressed and I hope to be able to encourage my son to become the best version of himself and be true to himself!
You are a good mother.
Reblogged this on KarenNgugi and commented:
Such a wonderful article. If I become a mother, this is exactly what I’ll do
I always say that I’m NOT a good mother – I’m a GOOD ENOUGH mother! I think that benefits my kids just fine. And saying ‘No’ was easy for me; maybe ‘cos I was one of five myself, and we had to deal with small disappointments, and also learn to share. Great post!
Love from The Hedgehog x (residing in Switzerland) 😀
Learning to share and dealing with small disappointments as a child are crucial to facing life as an adult. And how very good to be just good enough! Thank you for writing Hedgehog. Absolutely wonderful to hear from you! Love to all at home xx
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He will become kind, compassionate, brave and loving because of you. The brave mom that you are.
I feel like you wrote my sentiments as a mother and so so beautifully! Thanks for a brave message about such an important job that needs to be done…
Thank you for this blog. Why was this facility not available 45 years ago? I could have learned such a lot from you (saying no instead of yes). I tried too hard to compensate for my husband being strict (now I think he was right). Keep going with your blog as it’s like reading a great book and not being able to put it down. x x x
Hello Dales Girl! So good to hear from you and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. I am so encouraged. Keep up the good work. We learn a lot in 45 years. Sharon x
Reblogged this on Miss Cassiopeia and commented:
Forget being a good mother, you are a wonderful, caring, sensible, and concern mom.
Raising a child is not about making them popular, teaching them to feel entitled, having a high self-esteem, wearing designer clothes, having branded gadgets, and worldly materialistic possessions.
It’s what you said.
It’s raising a Man, a Father, a Husband, a Friend, a Team Mate, a Son, a Seeker, a World Citizen.
Reblogged this on Entry Level Post and commented:
Mothering at its best!
Finally, a topic that’s going to catch me like a fishing net. I’m a dad and a new one too. Perhaphs I’ll be called a bad dad too but a brave one would be the most best way to define me, I hope.
I love it! Your blog is so cheery and ethereal – it comes through beautifully. Ah-mazing 😊
Reblogged this on Little Deduction.
Being a single mother of a boy, I can so relate to this! Absolutely remarkable! Well written!
Thank you for articulating your thoughts and beliefs so clearly. As a teacher, I hope other parents will be as brave and that I shall have the honour of knowing them and cherishing their child during the year we share.