I had a dream the other night.
It was one of those rare, coherent dreams that took me on a journey. A journey which marked some significant milestones and major shifts that had taken place in my life during this last one year.
In my dream I was shopping at a massive warehouse outlet. There were lots of items on display – reminiscent of the vintage toys, gadgets and an assortment of foods and clothes from my childhood.
It was surreal walking through the aisles, yet it filled me with a profound sense of familiar comfort and delight. From a forgotten time and place when I felt truly safe.
Then without warning, I suddenly came face to face with the person who had caused me immeasurable grief for over a decade of my life. In that moment, I felt my world turn upside down. A wave of misery and dread swept over me. I was then briskly told that it was time to go home.
Miserable, I numbly agreed – only to discover to my dismay that I had forgotten where my home was!
I scrambled to remember, but it seemed like I had suddenly developed some kind of temporary amnesia.
Ashamed and vulnerable, I was led to the car park where to my great horror, I found out that I had to drive a huge sixteen wheeler to get home!
Agitated and quaking with confusion, yet too afraid to speak up, I felt forced to climb into the driver’s seat. This person came on board, settled into the back seat and proceeded to dictate to me where to go.
I drove fearfully into the heavy traffic, a tight knot clenched in my stomach.
Along the way flashed certain routes which I wanted to explore further but was forbidden because I was told it was the wrong way. Being terribly uncertain, I obeyed without question. It was dark outside and I strained to see where we were going.
The truck was heavy and burdensome and throughout the dream I felt such a strain upon me as I pushed with all my strength trying to haul the weight of this massive vehicle behind me.
To make matters worse, I discovered in silent panic that I couldn’t locate any of the usual levers or switches near the dashboard of my massive truck. It dawned on me that I had not taken time to familiarise myself with my vehicle before plunging into this journey. And now it was too late. No turning back but to keep plowing ahead.
Finally, just as I was despairing that this nightmarish trip would never end, my back-seat instructor triumphantly announced that we had arrived home!
Relieved, I brought my great big wheels to a halt and looked around me to see where we were. To my immense and utter surprise, we were right back where we had first started! Yes, outside the huge warehouse outlet.
And in that moment, my heart exulted. She didn’t know where my home was either!
She had simply taken over out of an unchallenged sense of self-entitlement. I allowed myself to be overpowered. To be led. Some of us are taught to be self-subservient while others are bred to dominate. Sometimes when we find ourselves stripped from all familiar landmarks, we become easy prey in someone else’s territory. And in that moment of bewildering confusion when we’re still searching for our way, we lose our way. We lose ourselves.
I stood there as the gentle dawn slowly filled the sky. I felt so light. And my heart smiled. The person was gone. The truck had disappeared, thankfully.
I wondered how I was going to get home now and suddenly there was a brand new, shiny red bicycle at my feet!
And just as I was going to hop on my new bike, I saw a flock of burqa-clad women shuffling into a building on my left. Their burqas fluttering in the morning breeze. These women kept their heads bowed and moved like a a flock of frightened birds. Easily alarmed. Quick to take flight.
There and then I decided that, I will not be reduced to living like these women. That was not going to be the story of my life. I will not be hidden away, squirreling an insignificant life because someone said that I must. I will not give my destiny away to anyone.
I still had no idea then where home was but it really didn’t matter anymore. This was a journey that I have to make on my own. Me with my trusty bike. The detours, the byways, the hidden paths.
And then it dawned on me. It really didn’t matter anymore where home was because I knew then that I was already home.
This housewife is back in business. Now hear her roar.
I dedicate this first blog post to everyone out there who have led half lives. Hidden lives. Lost lives. Because of someone else’s sense of wrongful entitlement and claim over you. To all those who find themselves in unfamiliar territory and you’ve lost your bearings. Come home. To your precious, worthy self.
A leaf in springtime, welcome, welcome, I am so pleased to hear your roar.
Blessed is the woman who gets a welcome back as warm and as embracing as yours. It is good to be back. (still practising on that roar) 🙂 X
You will get there!
Welcome back! I have missed you.
Thank you Elizabeth! We have lots to catch up.
Dear Sharon, thank you so much for this wonderful post. What a dream! I hear your soul speaking here. I also have a feeling your writing may help me to make an important decision. Looking forward to read more from you.
Thank you Maarit. I know that you will make the right decision and it will bless your heart and the hearts of many. Blessings!
*Teary-eyed* So much symbolism in your dream! Truly a leaf in springtime, with a lion’s heart! ❤
To lion hearts and dragon slayers my dear friend! To knowing the stuff of stars and strength that we are made of. Love you back.
Welcome back. Happy spring and happy blogging. 🙂 I think many people would recognize themselves in your dream… 🙂
Happy Spring neighbour 🙂 So good to see you again!
Hurrah my dearest! You are welcomed back to creative expression! Sharon, I have missed you!
Dearest Diane, I hope you have been well. You always cheer the loudest! Thank you sweetheart x
Aah…Carolina! I got a feeling you’ve been there before too! Well done. Hugs.
What a beautiful and mindful story Sharon, illustrated with gorgeous photos! I always love to read your thoughts, so glad you are back! 🙂
Thank you Elina! I really appreciate your kind words.
Sharon! Thank you for sharing your dream – most profound and freeing. So good to hear from you!
Dear Cathy, so very good to see you here after my long break! Thank you for your warm support and for your insight. Hugs, Sharon
Welcome back. I hear you roaring with a gentle yet profound wisdom. You words touch my heart. Thanks Sharon, blessings, Brad
You have always been so kind Brad. Thank you. May we continue to learn and to roar 😀 Blessings your way. Sharon
Oh, Sharon, yes! Hooray, welcome home, welcome back; fly ever up and onward, beautiful one. What a glorious gift you offer the world. I am filled, utterly, with gratitude. Love to you, and gentle peace.
I sometimes get tongue-tied when I want to say so much yet fully aware that my own words get in the way in the presence of love and pure kindness. I feel that way now. Thank you from my heart. I have missed you. Love, Sharon
It’s so great to hear from you again, sharing your wonderful words. We’ve missed you terribly while you were away, and are so grateful to have you back. I do hope that with time you will share with us the journey you have been on, and where it took you.
All the best
My dear Barney! How are you and your dear wife? How is your carpentry business going? Loved your gorgeous work. Hope the birds are singing outside your window where you are and that the sun is shining bright in your world! So, so good to hear from you!! Sharon
We are doing great. Calif. is suffering under a terrible drought, as you likely are aware, but the birds are singing and spring is in full bloom, so we enjoy what we can. The cutting board business is doing well. check out http://www.shopatlataj.com for pictures of my most current work. I do enjoy it so, and it has become an artwork therapy for me.
The question is how are you feeling? Well now, I hope. And your family? All doing well I trust?
Please keep writing, we all missed you so.
It made my heart sing when you popped up in email today.
And who of us has not half-lived at one time or another. For me it’s a process to come out of the dream and remind myself that I am the only one holding me back. Blessings on you and welcome back.
Oh how wonderful to hear from you! I hope you and your dear family are doing good! How often we know a truth but until we own it, the truth can’t set us free. To freedom and to the life worth living. Thank you for the super welcome!! Love, Sharon
Welcome home, Sharon!
We’ve missed you and are glad you are back sharing your heart wisdom.
Hugs and blessings!
Dear Valerie, so wonderful to hear from you! Many hugs and blessings back and hope that you are having a beautiful life xx Sharon
What a sense of relief I got from seeing your post in my reader, and what a deep pleasure from reading your wise words once again!
Dearest Anne, you are like a wonderful mother hen always on the lookout for me. I am overwhelmed by the love and support. Warm hugs, Sharon
Another wonderful and inspiring post! It is always a delight to experience glimpses of your spirit, Sharon. Welcome back! I’ve missed you.
Hello Russ! How have you been? Really great to hear from you! I hope you’ve been writing and publishing. Thank you so much for the warm welcome back. Sharon
Thank you, Sharon. I have indeed. My fourteenth book, “Touched” was recently released on Amazon and elsewhere. It is a compilation of my selected short fiction stories and flash fiction. Thank you for asking.
Splendid! Thanks for sharing your dream. So telling.
I knew you would understand the dream Amrita. Blessings xx
wonderful anecdote, and bravo to u’r awakening, rising like a phoenix!
Thank you so much for the encouragement! Sharon
So lovely to have you back – and sounding so strong.
I’m learning how to roar my heart out these days 😀 Sharon
Wow, what a dream. Thanks for sharing. –Curt
Truly appreciate your kind words Curt. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Sharon
Welcome back, you wondering, wandering, wonderful, and roaring woman! Thanks for a beautiful and empowering post to women everywhere.
My dear Christina, I am beginning to see how much strength, depth and richness have been breathed into the soul of a woman. May we all learn to use our wings and soar high. May we change this world with the power of kindness. You inspire me. Hugs, Sharon
I wish we lived closer and could meet more often to have conversations and share life. This will have to do for now until our next kiam chai buey meeting 🙂 Take care Yeng. Lots of love from Naning Girl
My dearest Ning, I too wish that so much. Promise me a date next time we are back in Penang ok? I can’t wait! Conversations, life and kiam chai buey – best combo kan 😀 Love you sweet one. Yeng xx
Hear, hear! May we all come full circle and know we are home …. in our strength, our beauty, and our very divinity. So glad you are amongst us bloggers once again, Sharon.
My dearest Jeanne, I first need to thank you for the beautiful note you wrote me some months back which stayed in my heart all this while. It gave me strength. How absolutely kind of you to remember me. And for being here to welcome me back. To strength, to beauty, to our very divinity indeed. Love, Sharon
Dear Sharon, It is wonderful to see you here. Your dream reminds me of my prayers, a portion of which are devoted daily to asking for God’s protection for all those who are imprisoned, physically, emotionally, spiritually. There are so many mutations… and then there is love. Love to you my friend, Vivian
There are so many prisons and truth, the owning of truth does set one free. Thank you for your prayers and love Vivian. Blessings, Sharon
My heart heard your roar. Your ghalam/pen is heard. You are home.
Thank you for always being my safe place Fae. Love, Sharon
The return of a favourite – welcome back.
You are so kind… Thank you Andrew. Sharon
Sharon in springtime. And there was great joy and dancing by the beaver pond.
I was waiting for you to come by Chris! This first post is as much dedicated to you. For your friendship and your generous spirit. Blessed is the one whose friends dance with great joy at their homecoming to strength. Thank you so much. Sharon
Oh Sharon, how happy I was to see your blog in my inbox this am. I have missed your beautiful photography and words. Those words. You have no idea what their worth is to me.
Tears and thankfulness for you. Welcome back.
Your comment means the world to me Veronica. Sending you love, strength and grace of a warrior. Sharon
I have missed you so and thought of you often. Welcome back.
I relate to your dream because I know for a certainty that I am on my way home, back to where I began. I’m remembering who and what I am, why I came here, and my connection to all there is. What more could anyone want? Big hugs to you, Sharon
Big hugs Brenda! I have missed you too. Oh, the lessons that we learn and the places we will go – when we take the path of being true to our deepest selves. I am loving it all. Sharon
And, I am loving you loving it all. 🙂
Hey, you’re back!!!! I am so glad to ‘see’ you again. 🙂 🙂
So good to see you again too Imelda!! 😀 I’m catching up with everyone. It sure is good to be back. Hugs, Sharon
can i qoute this “And then it dawned on me. It really didn’t matter anymore where home was because I knew then that I was already home.” because i like it
Good to see you back!! I need to be more present myself. I’ve had so much stress in my life and have definitely lost my bearings, so this really spoke to me. Searching for my way again… Virtual hug!
Dear Katherine! It’s been a wonderful reunion with some great friends coming back to the blog! So good of you to come by. I have missed you. Hope you and your little man are doing well. Many hugs your way!! Sharon
Welcome back my friend! Coming home touched me greatly. xx
Dearest Suphin, having you here and taking time to share in my journey, touched me deeply. Thank you dear friend. X
Quite a powerful dream and story! I know what you are talking about… God bless you and protect you from manipulation! i pray the same for myself (in the role of victim to soem degree) and the manipulator … (probably abused in childhood)… Anyhow i have recently also had some dreams also with similar elements… am feeling some of the same challenges … Best regards and prayers!
Dear Susan, thank you so much for your prayer of protection and well wishes. I do truly appreciate it. I wish you freedom and self-ownership. May we all learn from strength to strength how to properly honor ourselves and practice good self-care. Blessings, Sharon
Welcome back, Sharon! That was quite a dream.
Hi Lee! I’m having the most wonderful reunion here meeting with all some old blogging buddies! Thank you so much for coming over. A lot can happen in one year! Looks like you’ve been well and super busy making beautiful things! Loving your new blog. XX
I loved reading your posts because you are always so very inspirational. I am glad that whatever fear was bothering you is finally challenged and put behind you. Thanks for liking my new blog. 🙂
haha…I meant to say I can’t wait to read more of your postings because you are always very inspirational.
A beautiful piece as always Dear Sharon..and lovely photos…to go with.( love the color treatment )
Welcome back my friend…it”s been a long time…Have missed you…
regards to all at home
Most glad if you liked the photos Sriram! And thanks for the photography tips. I’m still working on that. Always appreciate your feedback. Have a wonderful day in Madurai! I shall read up more about your home town and chicken chettinad 😀 Sharon
Sure…:-)…Just for your information I am a vegetarian…:-)
Welcome back, Sharon! I’ve missed you and wondered what journey you might be on. So wonderful to have you back “in business”! And roaring the song of truth that makes us free to be at home, just as we are, in our own selves. Tervetuloa takaisin 🙂 Love, Tiny
Kiitos kovasti Tiny!! So very good indeed to be back. I am touched by your big welcome. Much love, Sharon
It is so nice to see you back Sharon! I look forward to seeing more of your words and photographs-the images here are very lovely–especially the second one with its beautiful sense of delicacy and light-welcome back-
Welcome back Sharon. You were missed.
Thank you so much Pat! It is most heartwarming to see you and your gorgeous photos! Hugs.
Lovely writing.. Great job! I am new here and I created the page Real Life Natural Wife. I hope you’ll come by and let me know what you think. Have a great day!
I was so happy to see your lovely icon on my latest post. Some dreams have a way of shaping your thoughts for many days after they occur. May this one continue to give you strength and empowerment. Have a wonderful day!
Wonderful dream… I hope you will hold on to it!
My dear Kuih Bangkit, Goosebumps… tears… the works. Am at my desk at work… mopping up the evidence as fast as I can… but it sure felt good. Love the raw feeling which you convey when you write. Felt like we were on a journey together into your dream. So human and yet, a tinge of angel, unicorn, wood sprite … all rolled into one sweet and adorable package. I had a moment like when I turned 30… looked back on a wasted life lived in fear and said … “Enough, fear, you can’t have any more of me… It’s time to live, really LIVE.” No going back now…
Love always, Dodol
I was so happy to see your writing and to hear the resilient power within the roar of your words. I have missed you, friend. You are a beautiful soul. With affection, Mark